Day 105 - Bollywood in Budgee Springs - Chapter 3 (2588 words)

©Wayne Webb and constantwriting.blogspot.com, 2013. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Wayne Webb and constantwriting.blogspot.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Bollywood in Budgee Springs

Chapter 3

“Okay then. What can I tell you?” Max looked around the room trying to calm his nerves, visions of brightly coloured saris dancing through the Pub room, swirling in amongst the darkening faces of the townsfolk, having rapidly sung songs in Hindi thrown at them. He cleared his throat and continued his thought without the 'song and dance routine'. “ Well they’ll be here in about three days time, the production crew that is, they will come first and do some scouting for locations, set up the various things they need and talk to … um the council liaison, who will be me, I mean who is me, they'll be talking to me.” The awkwardness of that sentence up lost him rhythm again. “Then after that, the actors will arrive and shooting will start. It'll be a few days later.” Now he found the point he really wanted to make, that no matter how much they thought the production may impact life here in the town, it didn't have to. “ You see, they are very prepared and they will shoot the entire movie, the scenes they need to do here in less than a month, so the impact will be minimal we hope.”

'Hope? Did I say hope? That does not sound very definitive' thought Max, 'I should fix that'.

“I mean, we’re sure of that. I mean there will be little disruption. Yes that's what I mean.” 'Bugger, did I say that all out loud?' He cringed, hoping it was an internal cringe only and that no-one noticed the look.

“So is it just a short film then?” Piped up a voice from the bar in an honest query.

“Oh no, they are typically about three to four hours long” Max answered way to quickly. A murmur of surprise and doubt runs through the group and the Mayor raises his hands in a placating gesture.“No, no it's completely normal for Indian … umm Cinema, they like value for money there... umm I guess.” 'Am I crossing the line into racism?'

Charlie raises his hand to ask permission to speak and the room goes quiet, it is a deferential gesture but they all feel the authority when he speaks. Max nods at his father to allow the question.

Stubbornly Charlie keeps his hand raised and Max rolls his eyes as he realised.

“The chair recognises the honourable... Charles Clarke.” He pauses and then adds “Senior.”

“Thank you, Junior.” It was not meant as an insult, but the word hung in the room suspended between the two of them and the room watched as if they were rival generations of gunfighters standing in the dusty main street of a old time western town.

“What kind of Film is it … Junior?” Charlie folded his arms and waited on the response.

“Well, Dad, it's an Indian film, with Indians in it, speaking in Indian, for and Indian audience.” He hurriedly added “That's Indian as in India, the country, not American Indians. Not Cowboys and Indians, Indians from India. The Cricket playing India, Sachin Tendulkar etc...”

“Thanks for the Geography lesson, junior. I know all about India.” He turned to his mates “I had a Butter Chicken in and Indian restaurant in Melbourne, years ago. It was a bit too spicy for me. But their beer was good and cold!” That got a cheer from the men around the bar, and the publican hurriedly scribbled himself a note to get some foreign beers in. Charlie raised a finger though and went back to his original question. “I mean what is the film about?”

“Um, I... it's a complicated issue. I … umm” Max struggled with the question, trying to think of a way to describe it without telling them about the musical, dancing, singing and explosion of garishness in any detail whatsoever. His thought process was basically once they arrived it was too late to do anything about it, so if he just kept things on an even keel until then, they would be ok. He'd be persona-non-grata for a little while, but the money would be in the council coffers, they'd forget about it after a few weeks and they would enjoy the repairs to the town and the new things they could do with the money.

Well maybe it would take a couple of months to forgive him?

Maybe years? Surely not? Right?

“But what is the movie about Junior? Love? War? The little battler beating the odds?” That got a small cheer of approval “It's not about Aliens is it? Like the Petrol head movie?” He was being deliberately obtuse with the name.

“Diesel, Dad, it was Diesel and no it's not about Aliens.”

“So you do know what it is about? You have read the script Mr Mayor?” Charlie was beginning to get suspicious at his son's avoiding the detail of the conversation and wanted to press for more about the film while he had the audience to back him up.

“Well, no I have not read the script, not the actual script that is” There was a collective gasp at this. “That’s completely normal in this kind of situation.” He moved to stand off the stage, stepping down only slightly but he was now in amongst the audience, trying to seem closer to them, be one of them. “It's fiercely competitive in the Film Industry there. They see hundreds of films every year, thousands maybe. And they, I mean the Indians, they... they have a movie-making machine that is just that, a giant machine that makes so many movies and constantly. You would not believe it, they are so professional and prepared, you won't even know they are here!” I hope!

“Yes that’s a problem, about the script but you have to understand, that's not about us but because of this fierce competition and a so much …. plagiarism and spying, copying ideas and trying to make them faster and cheaper than the other companies. That’s one of the reasons they like coming so far away to do a movie. They protect their intellectual property and they come home with a new, unique version of the same thing that they all want to see time and time again, trust me they know what they are doing. You'll barely even know they are in town.”

Charlie would not leave it alone though “You haven’t seen the script? And you don’t know what it’s about? It could be hard core Indian pornography for all you know!” The women make a tut tutting noise at Charlie, it's not the kind of talk you should be bringing up in a town meeting with MoM in the room.

“No, no I can assure one hundred per cent that nothing like that will be happening here. Indian films are very different.” He realised that he needed to tread carefully there, they were nothing like the movies they were expecting, they would be loud and colourful and in their faces for about a month. “They might be very different to the ones we see out of Hollywood and the like. It's a different culture and they communicate and express themselves, um in their own uniquely Indian ways.” He had to bring them back to a non threatening position on the movie, it would be different, but not too different. “Indian Cinema is … well they are full of solid moral values” He thumped his fist into this palm like a preacher “Proper behaviour and absolutely no nudity, no sex scenes, they don't even allow kissing on screen. They have a strict moral code and the movie will be one for all audiences to see with their families no matter how young they are.”

Max looked around the room and they took the information he just gave them in. They really had no idea about Indian films and the town was so far and away from the broadband loop they relied on internet connection via the internet café in the town, the only place with a half way decent connection. Mostly the older residents of town treated it like a post office, they would get emails and they'd pay the grandchildren of the care owners to print their emails out and bring them to them like the post, dictating replies and having them sent back.

For once Max was so glad that the Broadband he had been lobbying for had not made it all the way to a dying town in the middle of nowhere. He just hoped that none of the older people, the ones who would make it a bit more difficult would come down and do a google search, that could be the end of it all. He just needed a couple of days, and then they would be here and it would just go ahead and the town, well they would adjust and they'd put up with it and get the benefits afterwards.

He was not even halfway through his first term and now he thought that maybe the record for shortest termed Mayor in Budgee Springs was on the cards for him. Still, that was a problem for next month, he just needed to herd these difficult and intransigent people through the next few weeks and then they could lob their complaints at him until the cows came home. For now it was time to get the hospitality machine back on the rails again.

“I'll hand the rest of the proceedings back to the kind hearts and gentle souls of the Budgee Springs chapter of Mothers of Merit, thanks for you questions. Ella?”

Mike takes a seat in the audience, not returning to the desk. He realises his mistake and tries to move awkwardly to the table on the stage but reddens as he sees that Ella is waiting patiently for him to settle down before she speaks. He grins sheepishly at her but she is frowning at him.

Just great, one less supporter.

“Well we at MoM have organised a welcoming party to our guests; but it's for the whole town to be behind, so shall we put it to a vote? I propose the motion, any seconds?” Ella does not even look as her second in command does her job. “I second that motion.”

“All those in favour raise your hands?” Nearly all the hands go up but there are a couple of stand-outs, but they quickly raise their hands after glares from the three women on stage. “Excellent that’s unanimous. Annie? Note that in the minutes would you love? Excellent then. If the mayor would approve the use of the Town Hall?” Again Ella is not looking as she mentally ticks off all the things that no one would dare to argue with her.

Mike raises his hand to signify a yes to that approval request disguised as an almost militaristic order.

“Great, now then when will our guests be arriving Mr Mayor?”

“On the afternoon of the twentieth, this Monday. The Crew anyway, the actors, the cast and the make up and costume people by the Thursday of next week.”

Ella continues officiously, “Good then that’s our date - that’s a Thursday? Good, well then if the ladies of Budgee Springs could each bring a plate of baked goods or sweets, and can we prevail on the Whistle to make a special meal for the guests? The Treasurer will re-imburse you for your expense.” there was not even the hint of looking for approval for that expenditure, that was just good hospitality after all.

Paul and Julie both nod, and cast a sideways look at Charlie who smiles at them encouragingly and nods to his son and Madame President of MoM.

“Good, perhaps Mr Mayor you can advise them as to what kind of food Indians eat? Since you seem to be the expert among us?”

Max sighs and agrees waving his hand, he would just like the evening to be over by now.

“Should we offer them some kind of gift? Like a token to welcome them? What do Indian people like?” Ella opens up to the floor for ideas and there is a chaos of responses at once.

“What do you call those dresses ...Saris?”

“Oh they'd have their own surely!”

“Rice?”

“Convenience stores? Isn't that what they do in the big Cities?”

“Hey that general store is mine! I'm not giving that up!”

“Elephants? Remember that Kipling story about the Elephant? Elephants speak Indian don't they?”

“Elephants can't talk you drongo!”

“Watch yourself mate, call me a drongo again!”

Ella has had enough of the unfocussed suggestions and clears her throat, then eyeballs Charlie who again quiets the room with practised ease. Neither of them even consider Max in this move, something they had been doing for years, but the casual exclusion from this simplest display of crowd control hurts him a little more than it should have.

“Serious suggestions only please.”

“The Indians hold the Cow as sacred, don't they? Perhaps we should give them one of the prize cows from one of the Farms?” Charlie made the suggestion as a joke but before he started laughing, before the message could get to his mates to laugh along at the idea, Ella is clapping her hands delightedly.

“Excellent idea Charlie, that’s very generous of you. Charlie Clarke, you always are there for the town, that is so kind and shows real support to the Mayors hard work, that is just lovely to see, thank you.”

Charlie suddenly sees he has dug himself an expensive hole, and his mates see it too, no longer ready to laugh with him they will be laughing at him as soon as the Mothers of Merit and the rest of the non-regulars at the Whistle are gone.

“Charlie has graciously donated the cost of Budgee Springs best show cow to present to our Indian guests as our 'Grand Gesture' of thanks and welcome then. I second that motion..

“Uh .. now just hang on! I didn’t say...”

“Let’s see a show of hands then?” Ella steam rolls ahead, quite aware that Charlie was not volunteering, but she felt like he needed a lesson in support for his family.

All the people in the room raise their hands, most enthusiastically were Charlie's mates who all shot up their arms in a unified grin of support for the idea. Charlie is the last to raise his hand, but he knows that the game was not going to be won here.

“Great that’s passed then, Annie?”

Annie reads from her minutes “Charles Clarke ...” Max looks at her quickly and Charlie sits up a little at the mention of the shared name “... Senior, is to provide best prizewinner cow to Indians as a Grand Gesture. Seconded by Ella Riddell, carried unanimously.”

There is wild applause from the room and Max relaxes a little as his fathers attempt at a joke has taken the focus away from the movie production and onto the business of being a good town and welcoming friend to their guests. He just needed to carry the charade, the façade through the next few days and then it would be too late to do anything about it.

He could deal with the aftermath in the aftermath.