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RESURFACING
By Wayne Webb
CHAPTER 5
The
Village, if that is what they call it here, is old. Old in a way that
redefines the world old in ways that don't sit well with antipodean
dwellers like me. The idea that the building where I can buy a causal
trinket or time at an internet café, is older than the 'civilised'
history of the land of my birth, my home. Sure there are older things
back in the Lucky Country, but they seem like myth and legend. Make
believe fairytales of aboriginal settlements older than the
cathedrals of Europe, but with nothing to show is it any wonder it
doesn't feel real?
Nature
is older, and so the people at one with it seem as impassable as it
is. The mark they left behind, only footprints and some paintings.
When in the presence of a modern age-old artefact it feels more real
though it's probably youthful by comparison. You don't stand at the
foot of Uluru and think about millions of years of geology, it's too
oblique. You don't think about the thousands of years of a nomadic
existence, there's not any easy reference points for it.
Standing
the arched doorway of a shop, hundreds of years old and not uncommon
enough to be listed as heritage or as worth protecting, it is mid
boggling to a younger country man. At home buildings over a certain
age, barely older than a generation, require preservation. Buildings
here just carry on, preserved by virtue of being kept. Unconscious
and not at all deliberate, preservation is an act of conservation by
default.
So
every second doorway is a melange of styles and ages, the Village
takes pains to remind me of it's decrepitude and it's modernness all
the while declaring it's age like it was the fittest octogenarian
offering to do push ups in the Plaza, the benefits of clean living
and exercise on display. The oddest thing about the visual age of
things is the mask they put over the top. There is a patina of
ancient attitude smeared over everything, even the more modern of
components. Like Mutton dressed as Mutton, but the best and most
tender of Mutton you can find. Ok I get that it's an odd way to think
of it, but unlike the women who are in deepest of denials the ageing
gracefully is a mark of pride, not a skin to be pulled taut over the
cracks.
The
cracks are the features to be proud of.
Here
if the cracks are simply not pronounced enough, then accentuate and
develop them, make them known and make them the centre piece of your
display.
Why
here? Why anywhere, really? It was a pin on a map, a random act of
defiance and rebellion from the structure of an itinerary that choked
it's hold on the necks of teenagers. If things were different, if the
past had played it's course in more traditional methods, would she
still have made it here? Questioning the past is a colossal waste of
time and effort of course. Doubt is pointless and an exercise in
frustration, the past has not changed and it is the future that I am
interested in, no matter the path there.
She
waits.
Impossible
to determine what shape the future may take, the laws of nature and
physics have their own sense of propriety, and an arrogant belief
that they are the only truisms in the world, but obviously they are
not, or I would not be here and she would not be waiting for me.
Human behaviour is madness all the time and no one questions it, why
would they? Everything is complex if you examine it too closely, and
simple if you leave it be. Why unravel the loose thread and destroy
the sweater when you can wear it until the thread disappears or
resolves itself? Why does anyone do anything? Is human behaviour so
predictable and logical at any point in time, why start pulling it
apart because it's meaningless to attempt it.
Nobody
really knows the answer to most of the questions, like the women in
physical denial about their age, the rest of us less concerned with
the image of our bodies and the side of our faces we show, still lie
about who we are and more importantly why we are. Just because we
believe a lie, that does not make it true or trustworthy. That's a
modern fallacy, say it enough and it will come true.
Maybe
not that modern looking at the blood soaked floors of churches, the
blood dried invisibly on ancient stone cobbles and pathways to wars.
Horses and swords marched and swung beneath the roofs, the sky and in
between the halls of history. You'd think more than twice before
stepping on someone's grave, it's disrespectful and vain to tread so
lightly on the sum of someone's existence. Then you scuff your feet
on a paving stone that has known more death than you ever will. It is
now a part of daily life, you walk it every day and while it was once
the end of someone, someone(s), life, now it is...
Pedestrian.
Clichés
and stereotypes all come from somewhere and we decry them as hiding
the truth, but the truth is dullness and repetition ad nauseum, that
is it's legacy and it's future. There is nothing new under the sun,
how apt that is and it's older than the buildings who tower over me
like a elderly relative. Who is their senior?
Two
decades it took me to live a life less truthful and more deceitful
than the cliché of a runaway boy-man looking for the lost love of a
teenage rebellious period. It could not be more clear about what and
where my past had imprinted on me and yet I married, denied and
slathered the make up on me until the clown faced mirror image
screamed at me and could be heard.
I
did not question it then for nearly twenty years and what happened
when I started the process? This is hardly the best outcome for me or
my ex-wife, the as yet undivorced narrator's partner. She would say I
am mad, fixated on the memory of something I don;t know at all and
cannot possibly be true.
She'd
be right.
And
yet.
Here
we are. We are.