Day 178 - Upside Down- Chapter 26 - (1499 words)

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UPSIDE DOWN, BACK TO FRONT

By Wayne Webb

CHAPTER 26

After

Remand wing was not what he expected at all. The paperwork and forms were extensive and the feeling that this was temporary was everywhere. From the lawyers telling him about how remand worked, and the thousands of people on it. He had no idea. How remand was a 50/50 bet on a conviction and that it was more likely in a murder case, especially one where the government wanted to make a point, as his lawyer had said, he killed the right guy but at the wrong time.
Everyone here was innocent, everyone was waiting.
The biggest enemy was boredom. The idea of prison was the walls and the inability to leave and that was about it. It seemed like all his other options were open, but he could not leave. He mixed with other remand prisoners and not the convicted, but on thie side of the line he started to get an idea of who was going to a full sentence and those who seemed desparately keen to clear themselves or prove their point.
Maybe he was no judge of innocence, but every person who earnestly put forward their excplanation seemed to be truthful to him.
He had friends in the guards, and the prisoners.
All James wanted to do was blend into the background and be forgotten, but that was impossible. He was remanded because of the high profile of the case and the idea that in a pre-election season a self confessed killer should not be walking free. It was time to be extra, visibly tough on law and order. The legal team that came from nowhere and backed his lawyer up were constantly giving him advice and crafting messages for him to pass on to journalists and friends who could also be quoted in the press.
He didn’t want to draw any attention to himself, he wanted to have his trial – if he ended up in prison, then he did. That was the way things were, but there was now a pretty good chance he would not. They had done a hard sell on him, but they did not understand the pressure he and Sam were under.
They had the money. Sitting idle.
The money was waiting, patient or impatient it was waiting for someone to change it’s state.
Sam could not touch any without drawing suspicion, he told James as much in code on the phone. James had not really said much in response, the call had stirred up a feeling of being trapped and alone unexpectedly in him. The guards had taken him under their wings, so had some of the harder criminals who were remanded, but guilty and they knew it. He was the poster boy for standing up to demestic violence, but he was not a popular hero with the law or the law makers. They were out of step with their constituents though.
The guards had taken to sectioning off which prisoners he should steer clear of and which could be trusted. It was not a matter of innocent and guilty, but more one of trust and honour.
He was a killer, but not a murderer. More than one person told him he had done the right thing every day. He got messages of support from his lawyers, fan mail from battered wives and concerned citizens, politicians on the left who wanted to use him as a cause celebre for the protection of womans rights and safety, politicians on the right who wanted to laud him as a hero turned on by a nanny state who prosectured innocent unfairly.
He had met the minister of justice personally, had been escorted through a number of procedures and advised exactly how he would be treated no differently than any other violent offender (alleged). Told how he would be treated, spoken to and how the case would proceed.
So far none of this turned out to be true.
Guards looked out for him, prisoners impressed with his stand stood up for him, people wanting what he wanted (to disappear and blend in) avoided him.
Everybody wanted a piece of him in some way, and he wanted to be left alone.
It was impossible unless he gave up on fighting it. Fighting the case though, it seemed like a real chance that he would walk free after however long this took.
Family Focussed Sentencing did not want him to get bail, steered away from appeals and dragged out the length of time the pre-trial motions were taking. He had been in prison 8 months now and the trial date kept slipping further and further away.
The group that lobbied so hard to keep him out of prison, were keeping him inside one. They explained it so well that he almost believed in himself, a myth he knew he could not live up to. If he cut and run from them, then the support would dry up and the case would go to trial and judgement but ve severely conpromised, you can pull out of the process once it’s started, not one person wanted that. Not the ministry, not the lobby group, not the lawyers being paid per hour and certainly not the press.
James wanted to have it all go away.
He was being offered money, lots of it , as a spokesperson for many companies, societies and lobbying groups.
He turned them all down.
He was offered a book deal, a movie adaptation, a documentary, his story in magazines and interviews.
He turned them all down.
Getting out of prison seemed more and more likely every day, but every day seemed like another step on an endless ladder stretching upwards. He could see the top, the promise it held and yet it came no closer. A tragedy of greek drama and comedy playing out inside the walls of Mt Eden, he had never been as hopeful as he was every time he was spoken too.
At some point the lights went out though, and when he was alone he was alone and the reality of his situation warped into nightmares.
Each and every appearance, on television or through the eyes of the court he looked haggard and worn from lack of sleep. The dreams, the feelings and the loneliness of that half waking state of disbelief all took their toll. No one wanted that to change and the more hard done by he looked, the more hope he had. As that increased so did the nightmares that chased him in the dark.
It was a win win for his legal team and every one who wanted something from him.
Every one except Sam and James and Manisha.
He had seen Sam a few times, but with all the attention surrounding him, they knew better than to draw too much of a relationship between them. They were very close, they had been for years but speculation and idle chatter could bring down their house of cards.
Their house of cards.
It implied that it was weak, prone to the slightest wind or tremor.
It was not. The only way that they would be found out was to confess or have someone find the money. Money he was barely connected to.
Sam had moved the money before Jame’s ex turned up back in New Zealand to speak for her boyfriend. The man she was never planning to come home for was suddenly in the mind of everyone she knew, and the papers and the media and the magazines all wanted to talk to her.
She really didn’t care about the fame, but with that much attention and that much good will all being spread about her ex, she began to fall in love with the myth, partly fueled by her experiences that she now remembered more of. There were no good times or bad times, there were times they were together. In hindsight they grew into greener pastures of her fanstasy life and she wanted to come home.
Her ex became a long-distance relationship.
James, who had struggled in the past year and a half since her departure with a self confidence around meeting new people was still being made a hero. Nowhere more so than in Angela’s eyes.
He liked the feeling, and he went along with it.
Sooner or later it would fade for her and then the lifestyle would change and they would drift apart again, he was sure of it. He could hold on to it and her for now.
It did even more for his case and his her status in the minds of his public than the impending trial would do.
An innocent verdict seemed more and more likely every day.
His sleep got worse before it got better. He dreamed of ends to many things; his case, his life, Ivan’s and Greg’s lives, Angelas inevitale disinterest and eventually the ed of his dreams. He wanted oblivion. Or was it obliviousness?

It all needed to go away.